Books Read in 2023

Photo by the author, Denise Dwyer D’Errico.

Greetings from California!

Here, at long last, is my annual listicle of the books I read last year.Affiliate links, where applicable— this costs you nothing, but if you purchase from my link, then I earn a few pennies (literally). Thank you in advance!

Have you read any of these? Will you?

Fiction 

The Madonna Murders by Pamela Cranston is richer than the Da Vinci Code, taking place in pre-internet San Francisco Bay Area. Loved this! The immersion into Russian Orthodox culture was amazing. The Reverend Pamela is a local author and friend.

Entitled by Cookie Boyle reread this delightfully unique book about a book from the perspective of the book. I wrote to the publisher to request book club discussion questions, and soon the author reached out to me, ultimately joining our zoom book club meeting with my second book club! Please read the actual book and not the ebook (you’ll know why when you read it).

Camp Cacophony (Mystwick, #0.5) by Jessica Khoury delightful audio short- a prequel to The Mystwick School of Musicraft. A middle grade fantasy. Love when an audio book is like a radio play. Lots of sounds and music here. Reminds me, I still need to read The Midnight Orchestra.

Pages & Co.: The Bookwanderers by Anna James another middle grade delight: bookish stories about books, booksellers, and libraries. My daughter had recommended this for me years ago, I took a bookish beach trip with the family, and this was one of the books I brought. I read it in a day, sitting on the beach.

The Cartographers by Peng Sheppard was recommended by my son. I read it immediately following the Bookwanderers, to great delight! This fantastic unique novel details the magic of maps. Both books tied in well with our summer of watching The Librarians series and movies. Now I hope my kids will each read each other’s recommendation, so that we can all discuss their similar underlying themes! NOW FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED!

The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna, a rom-com fantasy selected by book club no. 3. I listened to this one, the narration is delightfully British. Lots of relatable themes here: being different, being half-bood, discovering one’s potentiality.

Fan Fiction: A Mem-Noir: Inspired by True Events by Data Brent Spiner. This is kind of a wacky concept- the actor wrote a fictional memoir. It had all the major players— the actors from Star Trek: Next Generation. Because I read it after enjoying the wonderful Picard Season 3, it fell a bit flat. I suppose I might have enjoyed it more had I listened to it, narrated by the actor himself.

No Man’s Land: An Original Audio Drama by Kirsten Beyer and Mike Johnson. Complete with actors Michelle Hurd and Jeri Ryan, this story comes to life. Listening to it felt like I had discovered a secret in-between episode of Picard. 

Knockout (Hell’s Belles, #3) by the incomparable Sarah MacLean, historical romance with contemporary themes. Enjoyed my annual read with Book Club the First: #SeasonallyBookedUp, which was born of #SummerofSarahMacLean, a wonderful online book club. This book club helped save my sanity back in 2020 and the days of pandemic lockdown/ societal unrest.

Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn, I partially reread for town book club, so it is pictured above. It was lovely to revisit this world in which lettering, graphic design, and data are so prominent, they are practically characters in their own right. Funny story, I was first to arrive at that evening’s book club, and the host’s cat ran outside and under their parked car. Happily I enjoyed some extra time to myself to speed-reread more of the book.

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus is a wonderful fiction novel describing the hardships of women’s inequality just over half a century ago. What I didn’t expect was how reading this book helped me come to terms with my history of being underestimated by prior generations of women. Now I can forgive them for how they treated me (mostly). The Apple TV series is also wonderful, but decidedly different. So it is important to experience both formats. That said, my daughter and I enjoyed watching the show together.

The Secrets of the Starbucks Lovers (Taylor Swift: Girl Detective #1) by Larissa Zageris and Kitty Curran (Illustrator) I was late to the party on this 2016 release: a delightful, witty Nancy Drew-esque tale of mystery starring America’s darling Taylor Swift. This is only available via ebook- purchased via Gumroad, but then you can send it to your Kindle app in PDF or .mobi format. Price is pay-what-you-want, basically a tip jar. This novella is 80 pages of pure mocha delight.

Poetry

Gravel Road Ahead and The Widow at the Piano Poems by a Distracted Catholic, both by Sue Fagalde Lick. The Widow at the Piano chapbook caught my eye when I was looking at poetry publishers. Free verse poetry, beautifully and hauntingly authentic. Gravel Road is about the author’s experience as her spouse’s Alzheimer’s disease advanced.

The Hill We Climb: An Inaugural Poem for the Country and Call Us What We Carry: Poems by Amanda Gorman, I reread The Hill We Climb and listened to Call Us What We Carry. The poet narrating her own poetry is amazing. Parts include references to a black soldier’s journal from last century’s pandemic. There parts are recorded with a special effect, making the words sound like they are coming from far away. The juxtaposition is dramatic and immersive. It is quite an experience.

The Optimist Shelters in Place by Kimberly Ann Priest, another chapbook. A lot of us wrote pandemic poetry, myself included. This volume encouraged me to find a home for my own pandemic poetry.

From Unincorporated Territory [åmot] by Craig Santos Perez, poet hailing from Guam. This won the National Book Award in 2023, bringing Guahan and Chamorro presence to the spotlight. Love this poet’s use of experimental poetry and commitment to indigenous issues. The varied forms present like a collage essay or “hermit crab” memoir, a varied and complex creative non-fiction chapbook.

Bianca by Eugenia Leigh, I discovered this poet after watching her webinar interview on Zuihitsu, an ancient Japanese form of poetry. The nature of this genre is to be many, varied, and vague- a curation intended to appear random- not unlike our modern social media profiles. The genre works especially well with matters of mental health. Content warning: trauma.

A Maze in Grace by Denise Dwyer D’Errico sometimes I reread my own work, particularly if someone I know is reading it at the same time. Then we can have more meaningful discussion about it. Free on Kindle Unlimited.

Memoir

Sheryl Crow: Words + Music an Audible exclusive, Sheryl talks about her own experience songwriting and in the music business. A short listen, this book is a treat as it features her singing her own songs, as well.

Story of a Poem by Matthew Zapruder, local author and professor details a year in the life of the poet, writing a poem. The changes in lyrics and the poet’s thought process is fascinating. He also details learning his child is “different,” something many of us know well. The beginning reads as a third person novel, captivating and qualifying as my favorite genre: bookish books about bookish people.

Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong by Steven Petrow was selected by book club no. 3. There’s some great stuff here: humor, high stakes, and heart. Free on Kindle Unlimited.

Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard and Being Broke in the Richest Country on Earth by Sarah Smarsh, a poignant memoir written as a letter to her unborn daughter. Another book club selection. Also fast-read the author’s other book She Come by It Natural: Dolly Parton and the Women Who Lived Her Songs, when making a Heartland-inspired playlist. My Spotify playlist is here.

Business

The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People by Gary Chapman and Paul White. Yes this is a spin-off of Gary Chapman’s the Five Love Languages, but adapted for the workplace. This had been on my to-read list for years. Finally finished in 2023.  

InstaBrain: The New Rules for Marketing to Generation Z by Sarah Weise totally blew my mind. Some amazing insights and fascinating statistics here. The number of seconds people can focus on singular information has widely decreased from generation to generation- yet the number of devices (screens) that Gen Z can pay attention to at once is increased. Fascinating exploration of generational differences in preference and experience.

Inclusive Design for a Digital World: Designing with Accessibility in Mind (Design Thinking) by Regine M. Gilbert, another eye-opener. Everyone will experience some disability over their lifetime, some temporary or situational, some related to aging.

Stuck? Diagrams Help by Abby Covert is a fascinating tome on the theory of diagramming. I love a good meta experience, and this is one. I’d diagram it for you, but you should read it and diagram it yourself. Read for my independent study of graphic design.

How to Have an Amazing Meeting Guaranteed by Dr. Patrick Sanaghan, yes there is someone with a Ph.D on Meetings. Also: The Surprising Science of Meetings: How You Can Lead Your Team to Peak Performance by Stephen G. Rogelberg, both read for my independent study of business transformation.

Design Is Storytelling by Ellen Lipton, a delightful volume describing the storytelling inherent in graphic design. Read for my independent study of business communications.

Other

Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche by Robert Johnson a reread, I first read this in grad school when it was assigned for a liturgical arts course. I wanted to revisit it for my essay on Individuation in Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I especially enjoyed revisiting the Mandorla (almond shape) and her significance.

Brain Hacks: Life-Changing Strategies to Improve Executive Functioning and The Gift of Adult ADD: How to Transform Your Challenges and Build on Your Strengths both by Laura Honos-Webb. Audio/ Kindle reads. Fascinating acknowledgment of ADD/ ADHD challenges, but harnessing the unique strengths. Important read, because even if you don’t think you know anyone with ADHD, I guarantee that someone you know has it.

What Stories Are You Living? By Carol Pearson, reread this to get a quote for my aforementioned essay. Also retook the Archetype questionnaire. I couldn’t remember what I got before, but my favorite archetype was not in my top 3. Fascinating.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dwerk. I read this as part of my independent study on business transformation, but I classified it here, as it’s really psychology. I think psychology should be required subject for high school, a science elective. Maybe we’d understand each other better.

You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, and Design Your Dream Career by Ashley Stahl, I caught the author’s free webinar on LinkedIn and was inspired. Another quiz. I got Words. What did you get?

Marvel’s Black Widow from Spy to Superhero: Essays on an Avenger with a Very Specific Skill Set by Sherry Ginn, read as study for my academic essay. Varied authors with varied expertise chime in.

Goal Getter Yearly Life Workbook by Leonie Dawson a workbook I read and use every year since 2016. Deceptively whimsical, surprisingly deep. I use this tool to sort my goals dreams and wishes. My favorite part is dreaming big in January- listing 100 Things- then, at the end of the year, reviewing how many of these I actually accomplished. Most years I surprise myself, having accomplished some of my wishes or “stretch goals.” [2020 excluded]. Yes, I purchased another already for 2024.

To Read

This year I am looking forward to reading The Comeback and The Takedown by Lily Chu. Hopefully, The Takedown will also be narrated by the talented Philippa Soo! I’ll continue reading the Bookwanderers and Mystwick series. Looking forward to the yet-to-be-titled Duchess novel, Hell’s Belles #4, along with my bibliophile sisters in #seasonallybookedup Book Club the First, via bookstagram and Discord. I eagerly await poet Sue Fagalde Lick’s upcoming memoir Blue Chip Guitar, which I’ve preordered from the publisher. Cookie Boyle and Pamela Cranston’s newest releases are on my list, as well as several books on the craft of writing, creative non-fiction, and graphic design. State of Wonder by Ann Patchett has been in my list since I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic back in 2020.

What are you reading?

Monday Music: Improvisation

Last Friday I enjoyed a lovely opportunity to play piano at my old church.

POV

Indeed, I am so lucky to be invited to play this piano. And they pay me, too! What?

Although I had arrived early to meet the priest and practice, it wasn’t until 6:55 that I realized the music binder was missing the Psalm. I didn’t have keys to search the music library on-site, as a substitute musician. So I quickly decided what to do. I told the priest I’d be right back, so he wouldn’t freak out.

I grabbed my keys, headed to my car, and pulled my iPad out of the trunk. Once back at the piano, I removed the tablet from its case, and placed it up on the music desk. I nimbly safaried to Oregon Catholic Press website, and ordered the digital download PDF of the keyboard sheet music for the Psalm. Thank God: my username, password, and credit card were all prefilled for me, after my face scan. I opened the file and got ready to read the sheet music from the tablet screen. All in under 5 minutes.

When the time for the Psalm came, my fingers glided over the keys in delightful arpeggios. And I felt calm. I knew this song. I could now read the music and guitar chords, even using the pinch-widen technique to zoom and enlarge the sheet music. There was no awkward page turning, I simply tapped the screen. Shepherd Me, O God, indeed.

By contrast, I attended a memorial service yesterday in which the keyboardist seemed to be on the wrong page. I daresay even the non-musicians in the room could tell. I wished he’d simply stopped playing, so we that could sing Morning Has Broken, a capella, in peace. Alas. (Please note that I do understand the difficulty when performing music at a funeral service for a loved one. It can be overwhelming. I have been there, myself. My heart went out to him.)

I am not the best musician, admittedly. My ability to appreciate music far exceeds my ability to perform. However, my ability to read jazz chords, coupled with my resourcefulness allowed me to pivot.

Improvisation, indeed.

Thank you, Holy Spirit.

Monday Musings: May is Mental Health Month

I was inspired to read the book INSTABRAIN by Sarah Weise recently. I intended for it to be independent study business learning. I hadn’t realized it would make me aware to so many generational differences and preferences, and in doing so- help me to understand my parents – as well as my kids- just a little bit better. (Amazon Affiliate link- costs you nothing, adds to my tip jar, thanks in advance!)

My biggest takeaway from this book was that in 2017, half the population was age 25 or under. This book was published in 2019, and since new people are born, that’s only increased, and we also lost so many older people during the pandemic. Author Sarah Weise further states that Millennials have an attention span of only 12 seconds, but they multi- focus on three screens. Meanwhile, Gen Z has an even shorter attention span of only 8 seconds, however they multi- focus on five devices.

The advances in technology are shaping our world into a highly visual society via text, emoji, and TikTok. As we age, our learning capacities and memory functions decrease, until eventually we, too, have a very minimal attention span.

Instabrain infographic, created by D. Derrico

Enter Covid-19. The pandemic lockdown shocked us to our core. Need I say more? Now we have experienced the Plague. This is the Generational Trauma our great-grandmothers warned us about.

Is it any wonder mental health is what it is today? There’s been an increase of mental health diagnoses, persons in therapy, and prescriptions. So much so that the ADHD prescriptive drug Adderall production supply could not meet the sudden surge in demand. An adult must complete a mandatory five-week online anxiety management course prior to being even considered for an ADHD evaluation in the San Francisco Bay Area these days. I waited two years for my CPAP machine, due to a shortage of chips.

I think we all have a kind of ADHD— that is, the ability to have intense focus on our preferred activities. And we all have Anxiety. Since the shared global experience of Covid-19 protocols and its ramifications, haven’t we all been rewired to become just a little more, I don’t know, skeptical?

I think we are experiencing a shortage of dopamine. (As well as the other happiness hormones.) We’re all desperate for that quick fix of immediate entertainment- be it scrolling, streaming, online shopping, i.e., dopamine release.

Disney knows this. My family and I went to Disneyland over Spring Break. We paid a lot of money for what was basically: dopamine manipulation. Stand in a crowded line during the heat of the day for an hour or more (depressing, dehydrating deprivation), then become rewarded with 45 seconds of adrenaline and dopamine frenzy a la the Mad Tea Party (aka “Teacups”)- just enough to hopefully last you through the next Hour+ line. If you’re lucky, it’s the 28 minute ride Star Wars Rise of the Resistance, with enough stimulation to last more than a couple hours. Hopefully you and your family stayed awake and alert for the amazing World of Color: ONE show. (Or you can look for it on YouTube.)

So, what can we do?

I think for Mental Health Month: let’s go Back to Basics: tune out, check in, cook real food, write a journal, take a walk, and find somebody to hug.

And if you need someone to talk to, try online talk therapy via talkspace.com. Here’s a coupon to get you started. (Another Affiliate Link)

Two Icons – One Night: Steve Nicks & Billy Joel

Last year I noticed some Billy Joel Stevie Nicks one-night concert announcements pop up on social media. My cousin Michelle and I chatted about going, but the shows were all on the east coast. Then the single west coast instance was announced. We discussed briefly, but the ticket price was a bit high for my budget.

One November day I decided to go! She’d invited our other cousin (and husband), so now we’d be a party of four. The morning that tickets went up for sale, I was driving to pick up my son from college, so I couldn’t really pull over to wait for my turn in a Ticketmaster queue. Fortunately, my cousin is also a trustworthy executive administrative assistant, so I rattled off my credit card number to her via hands-free CarPlay speaker phone, as you do. Michelle and I had gone to many concerts together as young adults, including Billy Joel, Elton John, Billy Joel & Elton John combined tour, Paul McCartney, Sting, Jonathan Cain, Journey, and Rob Thomas.

I had never seen Stevie Nicks nor Fleetwood Mac in concert. So, I started relistening to my favorites of hers, looking up her prior concert setlists, and listening to any songs on those lists that I didn’t already know. Part of the fun in a dual concert is imagining what the duets might be. I listened to my Billy Joel faves, of course, as well as his (temporary) SiriusXM Radio station.

As the concert date came nearer, we talked about flights, car rentals vs Uber, and hotels. And then we promptly changed all of these plans at the last minute. LOL.

Concert Day

Having taken the entire day off from work, I put on black jeans, a white scoop-neck tee shirt, black boots and this fabulous sapphire blue stretch-velveteen jacket– more like an open cardigan– high- low and trimmed with sheer tulle. Rockabilly in honor of Stevie. Then I don my piano scarf, in honor of Billy Joel. Because of the rain, I also don my cloak. This cloak has been with me for many, many years— lightweight and reversible to faux suede, it’s been great to become a classic witch, Hogwarts student, or even Kylo Ren. I thought it was appropriate for a Stevie Nicks concert #blameitonmywildheart ♪♫

It’s pouring rain @LAX upon arrival, unlike my home in the Bay Area. Michelle and I text each other and meet up at the car rental, arriving at the hotel right at check-in time. Our local cousin Eileen says she’ll pick us up from the hotel around 5:30pm. So we hang out in the hotel lobby and chat over snacks.

Eileen and Doug pick us up in her new orange car “I needed something happy after Covid lockdown!” I am grateful that the locals #waze us through L.A. neighborhoods, and that they pre-purchased stadium parking. SoFi is newly constructed, beautiful and glorious. We have VIP tickets and as such, access to exclusive food stands. The cola de la venue is Pepsi, my preference, and fitting for a stadium of hues of blue.

Stevie opens to a rousing crowd with Outside the Rain, synchronously. Her trademark long, golden hair cascades over a black velvet jacket and black ruffled raw silk skirt with platform boots, looking much younger than her 74 “and a half” years! She mostly stands and sings in place, excepting for several of her Stevie spins. Naturally, her boom mic is decorated with ribbons and strings of rhinestones. After Fleetwood Mac’s Dreams, she launches If Anyone Falls, a favorite from The Wild Heart album. Then comes Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around, with the large video screens displaying photos of the late Tom Petty. But guess who sings his part in the duet? Billy Joel! The crowd goes crazy.

Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks, photo courtesy of Yahoo Entertainment

More amazing moments: Stevie sings For What It’s Worth so well- making it her own, and it is still so relevant today. She dons lace/fringe/silk shawls at different songs, showcasing her signature twirling. Then seven songs span Fleetwood Mac, Bella Donna, Wild Heart, Rock a Little, and some Tom Petty, too. Edge of Seventeen is the finale- the middle verse is skipped, so the song builds faster and guitar solos and Hammond organ solos are added. This former choir director notices that Stevie mostly hangs out in the alto range, altering the melodies, and leaving the higher notes for her back-up singers. But I can respect this, I mean, she is still singing! And when she chooses to really belt out a higher note, it is even more special. She really delivers!

Stevie’s encore set consists of Rhiannon, and Landslide. Landslide begins as several photos are shown of Christine McVie and the two women together– such an incredibly moving song choice and brave performance. I marvel at how she makes it through, Christine McVie’s death being only a couple of months ago. Stevie sings through, breaking only on the very last word, as she hangs her head for several moments, sobbing. There is not a dry eye in the stadium. The power of music: a song and shared emotions. Such amazing catharsis.

Stevie had performed almost 90 minutes. The lights come up, and the stagehands change the bands’ sets, adding Billy’s grand piano atop its own circular rotating platform, à la Hamilton and Les Miz.

Anticipation is palpable as Billy and his band approach their instruments on the stage. They begin playing this first song quite loudly, as one does at a rock concert. Billy pounds out an exuberant Ode To Joy à la Trans-Siberian Orchestra, which transforms into My Life. 70,000 spectators on our feet, clapping and singing along. When Billy sings the line “now he gives them a stand-up routine in L.A.” the crowd bursts into voluminous acknowledgement— the energy given by the performers is received, transformed, and given back in glorious exchange.

Much of Billy’s band looks familiar, from prior concert tours and also having watched the VHS recording of Billy Joel Live from Long Island (1983) on repeat as a teen. The band now is even bigger, and there are more instruments. Crystal Taliefero is back, and I swear, I [still] want to be her when I grow up. Percussionist musician singer extraordinaire— she does everything, including stealing the stage in a powerful rendition of River Deep, Mountain High, right in the middle of the River of Dreams. (Click here for my waxing poetic on Crystal’s epic triangle solo.)

Billy jokes and sings the Rolling Stones’ Start Me Up. Which is rockin’, but then he stops. Music humor. Vienna is performed early, a lovely lilting melody resurrected in the 2004 film 13 Going on 30.

Band member Mike DelGuidice astounds the crowd, as he performs a solo operatic aria by Puccini.

Stevie joins Billy for an acoustic duet version of his song And So It Goes. This should have been sweet, but the sound people mixed her alto harmony way too strong, even louder than Billy’s melody. And so it went. This was the first of these Two Icons— One Night shows, I sure hope the sound engineers remedy that imbalanced travesty for all subsequent performances. I would have preferred All About Soul, because we all know that Stevie plays a mean tambourine (beribboned, naturally).

I also missed I Go To Extremes, a favorite of mine. But it was great fun when cousin Michelle pulled Eileen and I up from our seats on either side of her, so we could all dance and sing along to Only the Good Die Young #Catholicgirls. I am delighted when the crowd bounces and audibly sings along with the fan favorite Scenes from an Italian Restaurant– performed complete with several instruments doing justice to the Dixieland section.

The “finale” is, of course, Piano Man. Delightful and quintessential. There is nothing like being among the seventy thousand people singing the chorus of Piano Man a capella. [And I’ve seen Paul McCartney perform Let It Be and Journey with Steve Perry perform Faithfully.]

A five-song encore includes We Didn’t Start the Fire, Uptown Girl, It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me, Big Shot, and You May Be Right. I only wish that our phones weren’t so bright- because the darkness of “Turn out the lights” wasn’t pitch black, as it had been before. I had seen Billy at least twice in Oakland, and once in San Jose, in the 90s. He’s still got it.

Braving the rain, I don my cloak again, and we easily find cousin Eileen’s happy orange car. So glad I came, so sad it’s already over. Now that my kids are growing up, I have more time and freedom to do this kind of thing. Catching these rock stars while they still rock has been amazing and so meaningful.

♪♫ I’m getting older, too. Every year’s a souvenir that slowly fades away♪♫

Click below for the setlists:

Stevie Nicks

Billy Joel

Cousin Michelle’s take is here.

Monday Music: SiX 👑 Opening Night in San Francisco

Happy #MondayBlogs, Readers! Last week I enjoyed a wonderful opportunity to go to a real live musical in the city. Come along with me!

It’s the Fourth Tuesday which means I have back to back meetings through lunch, but I get off early! And as my daughter has the entire week off from school due to Ski Week, I bought us tickets to SiX the musical on opening night. SiX 👑 is a modern retelling of the lives of Henry VIII’s six wives: Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anna Cleves, Katherine Howard, and Catherine Parr. I admit, part of me wondered if I was now too old to be going into the City for a show in the middle of the week. As such, I enjoyed a ton of caffeine and brought along a pack of Caffeine Candy, just in case.

Hubby brought our daughter to meet me at the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) station in our hometown. I bought single-use clipper cards, as I hadn’t taken BART since the before times, and the ticket machines have been upgraded accordingly. In fact, I think the last time I took BART was in August 2019 to see Hamilton! It is a freezing-cold day and the fierce wind is whipping our hair around like crazy, especially on the platform above the freeway as we wait for our San Francisco-bound train.

Everybody chill, it’s totes God’s will- Six

The theater is thankfully located just directly outside the train station exit. Still it is gross and smelly in the station, and the escalators don’t work so we have to take the stairs past some sketchy folks. Keeping a brisk pace, we don’t look anyone in the eye. We have arrived early enough to go to a favorite fast food chain: The Melt. It is only 4 blocks but again through areas that are highly sus. I am starting to regret my choices, when we finally arrive. We indulge on a grilled cheese sandwich and Mac & Cheese with breadcrumbs, as you do. Worth It. We eat quickly, so as to return to the theater in the waning daylight.

We are second in line, thankfully shielded from the biting winds. The outer lobby queue begins to fill with happy patrons, some dressed to the Sixes in colorful, sparkling, glittery attire. Lots of pink, blue, and green hair colors everywhere. The Will Call attendant compliments a woman’s shoes via the small circular speaker embedded in the window. The energy here is palpable: wonderfully diverse, inclusive and so positive! I am reminded of the old Mervyn’s department store commercial in which a shopper stands outside the store door before a sale, chanting “Open, Open, Open!”

Open, Open, Open!

At long last, we are admitted into the theater, flashing our phones at the scanner for digital tickets. We are first at merchandise kiosk, and we purchase a program and magnet. “And will you be holding these, or do you need a tote bag?” The friendly merchant asks. In California we do not offer plastic bags. The tote bag is another $15, but what the heck. We make our way up to the balcony.

Once upstairs, we sit on a bench reading our programs, until the House opens. I remember the other shows seen in the city, some at this very theater. Hamilton, Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Wicked, Mamma Mia!, Beauty & The Beast, and Movin’ Out (the Billy Joel ballet), to name a few.

We reach our seats: balcony first row, left side. Great view of the stage and house. The music playing at this time: delightful harpsichord renditions of popular songs, such as “Havana” and “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo. The juxtaposition is fabulous!

Purple Reign

What I love about this show is the energy and sheer girl power vibe. The casting is diverse, the costumes are flashy, the language is contemporary. I was familiar with a lot of the music already, but I hadn’t seen the show before, so the dialogue and action was all new for me, as well as two of the queens’ songs. It’s not for everyone, complete with irreverence. But I think it just works! Particularly in San Francisco, for as the queens addressed the audience, I experienced flashbacks of the city’s own Beach Blanket Babylon. The queens’ stories have been overshadowed by their husband throughout history. I appreciate how they each tell their story in song, in friendly competition, and finally just agree to put on the show, culminating with the prerequisite uptempo Standing O Dance Megamix, a la Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Mamma Mia!, and the Wiggles.

The Six Ex-Wives dance and sing nonstop for almost 90 minutes without intermission. The live house band, too, remains on stage for the entire duration. Creative use of the stage lights for sight gags and contemporary phone-swipe images. As we stand, clap, and dance, we can see the entire house is also on their feet, basking in the purple glow of the Queens. Wish we could bottle this energy, for when we need it! Thank you to composer Toby Marlow and cowriter/director Lucy Moss for this brilliant concept.

All too soon, we are homeward bound on the east bay train. I remember train rides of the past, when saxophone players delighted crowds going to Oakland Coliseum, the crazy crowds for Sir Paul McCartney @ Berkeley, and when I first spotted a poster for my graduate program.

What I love best about this evening: creating a core memory for my daughter.

Girl Power, indeed.

👑

We’re SiX.

Soundtrack of My Life

When I was in Toastmasters, I gave a speech called “The Soundtrack of My Life.” Fortunately, I saved it on Evernote. I’ve updated the list, adding a few tracks. This is a neat way to recall life events and memories. Link your own, in the comments! I will also provide a Spotify playlist link, at the end.

Mix Tape, created by the author via Canva

Nice to meet you! I am a writer, mom, and Executive Assistant. My hobbies and interests include music, books, scrapbooking, and faith.  The most prominent theme in my life is Music, as you will soon see. I would like to take you on a tour of the Soundtrack of My Life. There are fifteen tracks (so far).

Track One: Brahm’s Lullaby

I was born to an Irish San Franciscan 49er Faithful and lovely young woman from the island of Guam. My parents instilled in us both, a deep love of music, both popular and classical.    

Track Two:  Top of the World by the Carpenters

I’ve chosen this song to represent my childhood years, as I have a vivid recollection of singing this song quite loudly while waiting in line at the cash register with my mother in Payless on the Boulevard.  I’m certain I was no older than 4. The song may have contributed to my sunny and optimistic worldview. My sweet mother listened to her Lesley Gore records as often as she did the Carpenters, so I had no idea that the other children in kindergarten would not know all the words to “It’s My Party.” From the first day of Kindergarten, I knew I was different.

Track Three:  Out of the Blue by Debbie Gibson

The song that captures my high school years would have to be Out of the Blue. It’s bright and cheery and peppy. Although I was, and remain, somewhat shy, it’s the optimistic outlook that again inspired and helped shape my worldview. During this time period I sang in the church choir, played keyboards in Jazz Band, and Xylophone in Marching Band.  I also started a band with my sister and friends to play popular songs at the school Masses. We were called Last Minute, because that’s when we would practice. It occurred to me then, that if young people heard their style of music in a Mass setting, they might be more open to developing their faith.

Track Four:  More than Words by Extreme 

At a Catholic Liberal Arts college, I majored in Religious Studies, with minors in Music and English. I accompanied the Chapel Choir, sang in the NightinGaels select choir, and was musical director for the student production of Godspell. I was inspired to try my hand at composition, including writing a musical. One of my compositions from that time has since been published. More Than Words is special to me, because of its intricate harmonies and acoustic guitar accompaniment. I have a high standard of musicianship, and hope to instill this appreciation of detail to my choir members and students. Be sure to listen to the long version of this song.

Track Five:  Stay by Lisa Loeb from the movie Reality Bites   

After four years, I went straight to grad school to study Liturgical Music. It was a new field, and the only program of its kind on the West Coast.  During this time, I managed a student choir, sang in the Pops and Jazz Choirs, as I studied composition, vocal performance and conducting.  Also during this time, my faith was challenged, as I had a difficult time with the head nuns of the program. The experience changed me, somewhat, and introduced to me the concept of Reality Bites.  This song, in particular, is still sweet in all its melancholy.

Track Six: Stone in Love by Journey

Having earned my Masters at age 24, I now went forth into the world.  I became the Director of Music at a Catholic church in San Jose. The position was only part-time, so I continued to work at Barnes & Noble, for a time, before I decided to teach piano lessons to both children and adults. The church piano player and her daughter introduced me to their family friend, the man I would later marry, even though he was a Raiders fan. On our very first date, we discovered that we both liked the 80’s rock group Journey and their album Escape.  We agreed the best song was the second track on side one: Stone in Love.  

Track Seven: Money Money Money by ABBA

After a random kidney infection landed me in the hospital for three days and several weeks of recovery, I was inspired to seek a “Real Job,” one that would offer me benefits, sick pay & health care coverage.  I said goodbye to my choir and my piano students, and started temping. My third temp position was for a community bank, in January of ’98. The Residential Lending department appealed to me, because it was helping people. Please also note that this song contains my favorite choreography from the musical Mamma Mia!

Track Eight: Valentine by Jim Brickman and Martina McBride

I sang this song to my new husband on our wedding day in 2000, at our reception.  It’s a romantic ballad: piano accompaniment, and lyrics which capture the nature of the dream come true.  

By the way, my Masters came in handy when the vocalist for my sister’s wedding came down with the flu.  As her Maid of Honor, I wasn’t scheduled to sing, but with my training and experience, I was able to step up to the plate (microphone), and sing the entire Mass, including a Psalm rendition that I had not heard before, as well as the Ave Maria. I was more grateful than ever, that I had chosen the path of music, because I was able to give this gift to my sister.

Track 9: We’ve Only Just Begun by the Carpenters

I continued to work, even returned to Music Ministry for a bit, and gave birth to our son, He had an exceptionally sweet disposition, if I may say so myself, and I sang to him every day. I hoped to instill in him the deep love of music that I so cherish.  He was still a man of few words, but he did say: “Mama, Sing.”

Track 10: Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts

Here begins my additions to the original speech. To capture the joy of our son’s early years, I’ve selected this song, as he was obssessed with cars, Cars, and everything cars. We also discovered his hyperlexia, hypotonia, and autism spectrum diagnoses as he turned three years old, beginning our family’s adventures with the Regional Center, ABA therapy, and IEP’s. Also, we learned that he was a rock star in geography.

Track 11: 7 Years by Lukas Graham (Kidz Bop version)

Our daughter arrived five and a half years after her brother. We were absolutely delighted to welcome her into the family! Curiously, she resembles me, although she certainly is cuter than I ever was. This Kidz Bop version has clean lyrics.

Track 12: This Too Shall Pass by OK Go

Jumping ahead to my son’s graduation year: 2020. I don’t have to tell you what happened: Lock. Down. Asynchronous “Distance Learning.” Drive-thru graduation. I listened to this song daily, on repeat. Be sure to check out the video of the marching band version.

Track 14: Ain’t it Fun? by Paramore

2021: second verse, same as the first. WFH, college from home, unvaccinated kids in school. I listened to this song daily, on repeat. Love the xylophone riff. And any song that breaks it down to a choir rehearsal in the middle speaks to my heart.

Track 15: Come to Your Senses by Alexandra Shipp and Vanessa Hudgens

In 2022, we were graced with Lin-Manuel Miranda’s movie about Rent! composer Jonathan Larson, played by Andrew Garfield. Maybe the world was coming to its senses. Though many lost their senses of taste and smell. Love this duet version– it is as good as an ABBA song.

Track 16: Rise by Katy Perry

“I won’t just survive/ you will see me thrive.” I put this on my Happy New Year playlist. Since it came up, I’ve been listening to this daily. How will you Rise this year?

Click here for the Spotify Link to my playlist.

Rock On!

Hyperlexic Holiday Gifts

Happy Cyber Monday, Friends! Here is a list of holidays gifts for the Hyperlexic child. Some I have given to my own children, some are new trends. Of course, use your own judgment, particularly with toys with small pieces.

Hyperlexia T Shirt Eat Sleep Play With Letters Hyperlexia Hyperlexic Shirt Gift. Wish they had this when my son was young.

Hyperlexia t shirt for Parents Ditto.

Children’s Dictionary Got one for my son when he turned 5, in Kindergarten. Or, splurge for the official Scripps Spelling Bee dictionary: Merriam-Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary

Scrabble, always great. Also, Scrabble tiles for crafts Add sticky-back magnet tape and Voila!

Kelly Blue Book or similar magazines, circulars.

Thomas Guide for your country, your state, your city…

Concise Atlas Cheaper version

Map Floor Puzzle or similar

Tyler and His Solve-O-Magic Machine. One year I gave all kids books with the child’s name in it.

Star Wars map

Coffee Table Books in your child’s Special Interest: such as https://amzn.to/3VfCzmQ

How to Ace Geo Bees https://amzn.to/3AMGJuf

Sleepy Cadillac https://amzn.to/3UdgofQ

World Game on sale today! I bought this last summer to play with my teens, such a hit! Young ones can use them as flash cards.

Magnet poetry https://amzn.to/3VfCzmQ And magnetic board for said poetry https://amzn.to/3VfCzmQ

Haikubes My NT kid and I enjoyed this more than my HL kid did.

World tapestry hangs in my son’s college dorm.

Globe Rubik’s cube: https://amzn.to/3VA7slK. My son had a round one but this looks fun.

Compass For map enthusiasts. I brought this to my local mall to get engraved with his name and an inspirational message, and a special event date.

Marauders Map blanket Used for years, until I gave him a quilt made from his favorite t shirts for his high school graduation.

Shashibo mesmerizing fidget toy.

Speks This one has bigger pieces. Gave my kids the littlest size, as they were older.

Landmark puzzles or similar

Legos, of course, how cute is this?

DK Eyewitness books– got these for our areas of social interest, as well as Money, Computers,…

Kids book of world religions, for map enthusiasts

Calendars (book about) Does anyone remember the perpetual calendar months in the back of the phone book?

Time interesting graphic illustration introducing concept of time

World Laundry bag, which we use as gift wrap, year after yearand/or this Galaxy Gift Bag which is now a pillow case!

National Geographic Concise History of the World

Timetables of History– a book containing 7 column chart lists

Student Atlas of Guam – found this actual textbook to learn about our heritage! Find one for yours!

Reusable Notebook- cyber storage https://amzn.to/3u3p1ip

Different Like Me

Boy Who Loved Words or,for Hypernumeracy: Boy Who Loved Math

Story Cubes fun game and creativity tool.

Practice Keyboard note chart— great for Hyperlexic kids

Ukulele– great first instrument

Recorder another great first instrument

Irish whistle, a little more sophisticated than a recorder.

Keyboard or similar

Label Maker be warned, everything in your house will get labeled!

Star Trek Next Generation Episode Guide note the dates you watch the episodes in the index!

Paint by Numbers

Diamond Painting – it’s paint by numbers with sticky back tiny bead-like plastic pieces. How cute is this? #Grogu aka #babyYoda

Project Binder lots of tabs

Scholastic Dictionary of Idioms

As an Amazon Affiliate, we may earn a teensy referral from your purchase, which costs you nothing! Thank you in advance!

Did you like any of these suggestions? Do you have more? Let us know in the comments!

Thanks for Reading!

Have you read my other posts on Hyperlexia?

The Order of Hyperlexia

Hyperlexia Heaven

Hyperlexia Resources

Hyperlexia Resources, Part 2

Books I read in 2021

Greetings, Bibliophiles! I don’t know about you but I found solace in reading during 2021. You might say it was my bibliotherapy. What did you read in 2021? Leave a comment below.

My goal was to read 26 books. I read 31 as of this writing. I joined two local book clubs during the summer and that really helped me reach and surpass my goal.

Fiction:

The Giver by Lois Lowry

Thought-provoking readalong with my middle-schooler.  Discussion worthy. I hadn’t read this book before, despite being a bookseller in the 90s. My husband and I saw the movie that summer we discovered that we both really liked dystopian movies (Hunger Games, Divergent, Enders Game).

Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View ed. By Elizabeth Schaefer

Fascinating deep dive into the original movie.  I started reading last year, choosing my favorite authors to read first, before my oldest pointed out that the order of stories follows the chronology of movie events.  

A Taste for Love by Jennifer Yen

Delightful YA rom-com  Asian Pride & Prejudice/ Great British Baking Show mashup you didn’t know you needed.

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds (4 stars)

Compelling novel in verse readalong with my middle-schooler. It’s like their Outsiders.

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Actually read this at the beach.  Some romance elements but basically a bookish book about authors writing books.

That Summer by Jennifer Weiner

Town book club read.  #MeToo novel.  Raises questions and warrants discussion. 

Finding Dorothy by Elizabeth Letts

Church book club read. Audio.  Delightful.  Twin stories of the Oz author’s wife’s childhood and the making of the movie. Does not shy away from known controversies.

Broken for You by Stephanie Kallos (4 stars)

Church book club read.  Poignant deep dive into broken people’s group healing.  Addresses Holocaust survivors.

The Authenticity Project: A Novel by Claire Pooley

Town book club read.  Fascinating fiction alternating several points of view. Audio. Some unexpected twists.

The Tiger Mom’s Tale by Lyn Liao Butler

One of several Asian Pacific Islander authors I would read this year. Good story. Author is a delight to follow on social media.

Natalie Tan’s Book of Luck & Fortune by Roselle Lim (4 stars)

Another new to me API author.  Delightful deep dive into San Francisco’s Asian community facing gentrification in the neighborhood. Magic realism.

Vanessa Yu’s Magical Paris Tea Shop by Roselle Lim (5 stars)

Delightful second venture by this talented author.  Art, Paris tea, magic realism.

Arsenic and Adobo by Mia P. Manansala

Delightful debut by cozy mystery API author.  Represent!  Recommended by my godchild.  Cannot wait for the sequel Homicide & Halo Halo out February 8th.

Dial A for Aunties by Jesse Q Suntanto

Hilarious chaos a la B99.  I laughed so much, my college age son read it too. Rare Netflix deal even before the book release.  Can’t wait for more by this author.

Somewhere Between Bitter and Sweet by Laekan Zea Kemp

YA was not what I thought it would be.  But I liked it.  I thought it was going to be about being of mixed ethnicity, but it was more about undocumentation. Delicious food descriptions. Happy to have found this author.

The Miracles of Santo Fico by D. L. Smith (5 stars)

I was so happy that my church book club voted to read this my suggestion, and during December.  As my readers know, I reread this book every year.  So much hope borne from languishment, which we all know something about that. The group enjoyed it so much!  I think I may move my annual reread from Lent to Advent.

Non-Fiction:

Wishful Thinking: a Seekers ABC by Frederick Beuchner (3 stars)

Church book club read. No audio available.  Like reading a theology dictionary.  Only recommended for select groups. 

The Hill We Climb by Amanda Gorman (5 stars)

Beautiful book of the captivating and striking Inauguration poem.  Fascinating that she is so young, and yet her poetry so all encompassing with wisdom beyond her years. Shelved next to my copy of On the Pulse of the Morning by Maya Angelou.

Turning Darkness to Light SHE-RA The Classic, the Reboot & the Heroine’s Journey by Valerie Estelle Frankel

Always wonderful to read Valerie Frankel’s analyses and interpretation.  After binge-watching the Netflix reboot with my daughter, I remembered this author had written this book.  The book was released prior to the series’ end, so I need more.

The Properties of Perpetual Light by Julian Aguon

Inspiring poetic memoir by Guam-born Chamorro lawyer and advocate.

The Useful Plants of the Island of Guam by William Edwin Safford

Reprint of ancient book.  Mansplaining. If you can get past the author referring to the people as Aboriginals, there is some good plant research here. Imagine if Monks from Finding Ohana wrote a book.  

The Latte Factor by David Bach

Shelving here as it presents as fiction although it is truly a fable for personal finance brought to you by the investment guru behind Smart Women Finish Rich.  Had my college son read it, too.   

Self-Help:

Rock Your Midlife by Ellen Albertson (5 stars)

Five star book from the Midlife Whisperer life coach extraordinaire. Her voice really comes through here.  Hope for an audio book in the future.  

Goal Getter Yearly Life Workbook (2021) by Leonie Dawson (4 stars)

Referring to the 2021 version (published in 2020) which is an interactive workbook including book and resource recommendations. Been using these workbooks for a couple years, now. The new version for 2022 is undated. (The undated version is linked above.) Always interesting to see how many of my 100 big dreams of the year that I actually accomplish. (Even during a pandemic!) Recommend!

*Not on Goodreads: Stop Sleep Apnea: Hypnosis Can Help You Get a Good Night’s Sleep by Dr. Janet Hall (audible). Can’t say if it actually worked but I did fall asleep listening to it, so, maybe? Author’s voice is less annoying when sped up to 1.3x.

On Writing:

Story Genius by Lisa Cron (5 stars)

The deep dive into the third rail that I needed. How to make your story COMPELLING.

Story Grid 101 by Shawn Coyne (4 stars)

Similar: reading about writing.  I prefer the Hero‘s Journey/Heroine’s Journey and Save the Cat theories which I found to be less complex and therefore easier to digest.

Fixing Your Character & Point-of-View Problems by Janice Hardy

Loved this author’s fiction (Healing Wars trilogy). Like having a script doctor in my pocket.  

*Not on Goodreads: Conventions and Obligatory Moments: the Must-Haves to Meet Audience Expectations (Beats) by Kimberly Kessler and Leslie Watts.

Romance:

I almost don’t even remember the three books I read along with the virtual romance book club (That Scandalous Evening by Christina Dodd, Dangerous by Amanda Quick, and The Gilded Web by Mary Balogh). I soon dropped out to focus on my own writing. But also, nothing compares to the ultimate romance writer: Sarah Maclean.  Needless to say, I was delighted when Bombshell by Sarah Maclean came out, and I rejoined the group for the readalong, discussion, and our special private interview with the author, just for our #SeasonallyBookedUp club (borne from #SummerofSarahMaclean in 2020). Masterful leveling up in story, character, and storytelling. So looking forward to the next installment of Hell’s Belles.

In Conclusion:

The two book clubs I’ve joined certainly help me with achieving my reading goal. They are one book a month clubs- both of them- but that is still easier for me than one book per week, on top of my full time job, parenting, and writing my own book. I think my goal for 2022 will be to read 26 books again.

Currently Reading:

Just started The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. Listening on audible, although I do have access to the hardcover which I bought for my son. This author went to my alma mater Santa Clara University. Still reading Coming to Treeline: Adirondack Poems by Pamela Cranston, who has befriended me at church. I only read one poem at a time, so I can enjoy its poignance. In purgatory lies 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman- I just can’t seem to prioritize finishing it. According to Goodreads, I am still reading Breath by James Nestor- which I thought I had finished. Gotta get on that! Also purchased Call Us What We Carry by the illustrious Amanda Gorman, which I’ve just realized may be the perfect read to finish out the year.

Pre-Ordered:

Homicide & Halo Halo by Mia P. Manansala, who is also a fine book coach. New releases by other favorite Asian Pacific Islander Authors: Red Thread of Fate by Lyn Liao Butler, Sophie Go’s Lonely Hearts Club by Roselle Lim, and Four Aunties and a Wedding by Jesse Q. Sutanto. Hoping for another Hell’s Belles romance from Sarah Maclean. Also pre-ordered by social media mental health accounts that I follow: The Healed Empath by Kristen Schwartz and Already Enough: A Path to Self- Acceptance by Lisa Olivera.

What books are you looking forward to reading in 2022? Tell us in the comments!

Monday Blogs: Chili con Fritos

Happy Monday, Friends! Today is Day 472 of Pandemic Times. How are you holding up?

Need some comfort food?

Chili con Fritos

Since I don’t make my Meatball Loaf during the hot summer months- I needed a new dish to put into rotation. I came up with this crowd-pleaser which is amazingly easy. When it is fresh, the corn chips are still kind of crunchy. On the second day, the chips have softened, so it has more of a tortilla/ enchilada texture. I was inspired by the memory of “chili boats” at my town’s baseball field during my teenage years. I hope you enjoy it as much as my family does.

Chili con Fritos

Ingredients:

1 package chili mix (your choice- we get mild)

1-2 cans tomato sauce, according to envelope directions

Water, according to envelope directions

2 cans black beans

1-2 lbs ground beef (my family uses 2 lbs)

Taco seasoning

1 bag Fritos (Original or cheddar cheese)

Shredded cheddar cheese (sharp)

Sour cream

Onions (optional)

Directions:

1. Brown the beef with your favorite Taco seasoning,

 2. Prepare the chili sauce/water/spice mix according to the envelope instructions in a second pot.  

3. Drain the cans of beans, and add to beef.

4. Add chili sauce from second pot. Stir.

5. Open bag of Fritos corn chips.  Pour entire contents of bag into a 9 x13 casserole dish.

6. Cover chips with chili con carne.

7. Cover with shredded cheese.  (My family likes a lot of cheese.)

8. Bake at 350* for :15-:20

Serve with sour cream.

With two lbs beef- this dish serves my hungry family of four for two meals.

Writing, Roller Skating, and Falling on my Face

If you’re just joining us, I’ve been working hard on writing and revising my first novel. It’s taken me a while, since I also have a full time job and two kids to raise. But recent events have helped me really focus over the past couple of years.  Did you find more time to do things during the Pandemic?  Raise  your hand. I also keep a writing journal- and I have been starting a new  document each month, titling it with one of the steps in the Hero’s Journey.  It’s been such a process and an experience. I had intended to write about the dutiful daughter theme when I uncovered a dutiful mother theme.  I resemble that remark.  In my book more than one female character works herself into dis-health. Let’s hope we all learn something from that.  I am consciously weaving back more joyful activities into my life and trying to practice self-care.

I enjoy roller skating.  There is nothing else that quite feels like flying- and dancing.  It makes me feel young again, except for when it doesn’t.  My daughter was always saying “You never fall, Mommy!” – which a) isn’t true and b) I am 37 years older than she is. Yesterday I caught a rock in my wheels, and fell forward, but instead of falling splat, I had momentum and so I skidded forward several feet on my belly.  It was epic.

 

Jump! Jump!

But I’m fine. It wasn’t nearly as bad as my other fall.

A few years ago, I ran underneath the closing garage door (as we always did) when my remote wasn’t working. You have to be sure to step over the sensor, as well as duck under the door.  Like I said, this was something I’d done hundreds of times before.  But I was in a hurry, wearing old shoes, and when the door seemed to be closing faster, I ran faster, and couldn’t stop- tripping over myself and falling splat on my own (inclined) driveway. I landed on my face. Readers, I passed out.  I came to in a bloody mess, but managed to park my car before running in the house to get my husband to take me to the ER for seven stitches in my nose.

And now an echo of that fall is in my book. 

Stick with me, it all comes together in the end. 

 

Writing, Not-Writing, and Fear

As I approach my self-imposed deadline for completing draft ten of my novel, I must admit, I am struggling.  

Sure, I have writing spurts, but also I have writing sessions in which I write on social media about writing, and also about not-writing. Exhibit A. 

For years I have identified as an aspiring writer, an emerging writer.  What will happen when I finish writing my breakout novel and it gets released into the world?   I have been creating and stoking it for so long, I don’t know how I will think of myself when it is over. I don’t know how to be an author of a completed novel.

A dear friend once told me that masters degree students often need therapy in order to complete their masters’ dissertations. I get that now.  I’ve invested so much of myself into the creation of my novel.  What if it isn’t good enough? What if people don’t like it? What if they call me a fraud?

I’ve read a ton of books on writing, art and fear.  I couldn’t list all of them here.  Here are some of the most impactful ones: Art & Fear, The Artist’s Way, Soprano on Her Head, The Writer’s Roadmap. (If you click and purchase using the affiliate link here- Denise will receive a small affiliate fee at no cost to you. Thanks!) A lot of the books address the act of writing, tools, goals and practicing.  I have read some clever references employing the writer as the hero in the hero’s journey. Great stuff. 

What I haven’t seen explored in depth is the writer’s self perception and identity complex. 

The loss of one’s identity as an aspiring author.  It’s really- grief. Elizabeth Kubler Ross outlined the five stages of grief as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I am just beginning this theory – alas, I cannot allow myself to pursue it more fully, because if I did, that would take away from my own writing.

Anxiety/ got me on the run/ Anxiety/ spoils all the fun

And so I sit here, typing a blog post instead of working on my novel.  Which is already finished, mind you, I am almost on draft ten, in fact.  I am reviewing it, editing, and revising. I just want it to be perfect.  If you are reading this and you are a writer, too, I know you understand. Any INFP’s here?  Raise your hand.

as seen on the internet

So what do we do about it?  Well, naturally, I could keep on writing here, or I could go back to my other open document.  And really work it.  Too often I reread passages, sometimes in agony.  Anyone else here?  

Well to start, I am naming my demon. Nessie, I am calling you out.  Do you hear me? Back off. 

The hero always wins in the end.

Slay. (image created via PhotoFunia)

Monday Musings: Motherhood, the Pandemic, and Writing My Novel

I have been working on my book for fifteen years. Well, I should say that I started working on it over fifteen years ago.  Then I returned to work full time, had another child, and self published two books.  I lost sight of the novel.  I even lost the manuscript for some time, finally finding a backup in an email message after older devices with old apps ceased to exist. 

A number of events factored into the confluence of resurrecting my writing.  My children grew out of codependency, for one.  In fact- their evening activities allowed for more coffee shop writing time.  A high school friend died quite suddenly and unexpectedly. Society began asking for stories from own voices- diverse, marginalized, and underrepresented writers.  And, of course, we entered a pandemic. I write this reflection now from Day 415 of our collective alternate reality.

During this unusual time, I discovered many things about myself.  I could write up to three hours in a day by not commuting, for one.  I cut down on expenses and redirected those funds elsewhere.  Thanks to my young daughter’s encouragement, I finally bought myself a pair of roller skates, and we are so enjoying roller skating together as one of our mother/daughter activities.  I encouraged my son to keep a digital journal and I do the same, knowing we can read the other’s.  I started attending a different church for online service, and I joined a writing community, which has been everything. 

My novel is a tribute to my mother and her island, the people of Guam.  I drew upon my memories and experiences to form the characters and their experiences.  When I started brainstorming this novel, I didn’t have my own daughter yet.  Something happened over the course of those fifteen years, and my motherhood found its way into the book.  I started drawing upon memories in which I was the mom.  Exploring the mother-daughter relationship became a theme. And I came to understand the mother characters in a new way.  Thus my novel began to take shape.

Moms live a sort of fractured experience.  There is so little me-time and so much others’-needs-time.  My memories of my young self seem so far away. Does anybody even care that I have a masters degree when I am collating print jobs stapling them in bulk.  Between the day job, the family, and all the responsibilities- it is difficult to remember to practice self care.  I feel divided between my true self, my younger self, who I want to be, and who others need to see.  At times, I can feel really broken. 

Last week a friend reposted a thread of photos of an artist’s colorful repairs of broken sidewalks in France. It reminded me of the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold: Kintsugi. Kintsugi has us appreciate the flaws, and celebrate the scars with golden connections. The reconnection becomes part of the design. I imagine the gold like lightning synapses.  A mosaic synchronicity. I think midlife is kind of like that too, we are taking our somewhat broken selves and transforming into something more.

My manuscript is comprised of many somewhat disconnected parts. I am crossing the finish line- writing and revising, connecting those disparate sections with new words. Feels good.  It is the sum of its parts- and yet, it is more.

How have you experienced kintsugi in your life?

Monday Musings: My Writer’s Journey

I write. I write about writing. And sometimes, I write about writing about writing.

I started keeping a writing journal for Nanowrimo during November- entitling it Accidental Music. I knew that having a month-end modge podge collage would show me something- paint a picture as it were. In between my writings, writings about writing, reflections, texts, messages, and to do lists– a volume of my life as a writer appeared. It’s like the Artist’s Way “morning pages” meets 750words.com

I liked this exercise so much that I did it again for Denise’s December. January came and I titled that volume what it was: Denise’s Writer’s Journey. February became Denise’s Call to Adventure. Continuing with the hero’s journey/ heroine’s journey theme, I entitled March: Denise’s Refusal of the Call.

I intended to work out my novel’s challenge in having a non-traditional refusal of the call, and some other challenges presented along the way. I didn’t expect that it would do a number on me. You see it worked me, too. I started to really look at the calls I was refusing in my own life, and why. In some ways. I was refusing the call to finish writing my novel. I kept writing about it — writing about writing — instead of actually writing. I even had an agent “like” from #DVpit from months ago- and I couldn’t bring myself to submit even the first fifty pages requested. Why? Because as an INFP (on the Myers-Briggs personality inventory— #INeverFindPerfection.

What else was I refusing? I kept resisting getting fully and totally organized. I kept trying to change the letters in OGSM to more creative words like Mission, Intention, etc. I wanted to mind map instead of outlining. Finally, I found a template for a strategic plan that I liked. I adapted it, changing the font and colors, and wrote my Writer’s Roadmap.

I had been wanting to post on my own blog, but I hadn’t been able to get around to it. Day job, managing the family during a pandemic, generalized anxiety, you know. Refusing the call. I realized I had to just do it. So I relaunched my blog and wrote some frame posts re-introducing older posts.

Readers, I finally answered the call.

Blogged, outlined my strategic plan for life, made a budget, created a timeline for finishing my novel and went on a writing retreat– checking into a hotel by myself to write like it was my job. I mapped my story on a calendar and noted one big inconsistency and found a few more ideas. I’d considered a few other lines of research, and started to ask questions. I’ve attended free webinars. It’s been amazing. Having worked through some of the refusals, I am now starting to see the benefits. What else is calling me? My To Be Read pile, my creative projects, among other things.

What is calling you?

The world is on its own heroine’s journey through time. Is Covid-19 the Antagonist? Or is it the Catalyst? Years ago, I attended a Marianne Williamson seminar in San Francisco where people referred to AIDS as a Call to Action. Is the enemy not really the perceived “enemy,” but really our shadow selves and our inaction? Changes are happening with vaccination availability and the lockdown seems to be near an end. We are figuring it out together. We are crossing a threshold.

In the past week, the world religions celebrated the return of Spring with a confluence of holidays: Passover, Easter, and Holi. This year, these celebrations hold special meaning as we collectively celebrate the return of Hope.

Hope Springs Again

Next month’s volume could either be the Ruthless Mentor & Bladeless Talisman, or maybe Sidekicks, Trials, and Adversaries. But you know what, it could be Supernatural Aid. We shall just see how this month goes. Stay tuned.

Where are you on your writer’s journey?

image: journals

Denise is an Amazon Affiliate and as such, should you purchase from Amazon links above and within this blog, she would receive a small referral fee from Amazon.

Monday Musings: Pandemonium Diaries

Happy Monday, Friends! It has been a year of living Sheltered in Place. How are you doing?

Ides of March

It was a year ago when Covid exploded– and we began living sheltered in place. I began a daily digital journal which I entitled the Pandemonium Diaries. I wanted to capture the statistics, but also the emotions. I included photos and memes. I tried to keep a sense of humor. What soon became clear was that I was living in a constant, heightened state of anxiety.

Social distancing meant schools were closed. Distance Learning was okay, but, there were none of the regular extracurricular activities anymore, they just stopped. My family is mostly introverts, and my husband already worked from home. My work was deemed an essential business, and I struggled feeling needed at home and at work. My allergies flared up and I developed a cough – so I switched to working from at home for about a month. Soon I realized how much I missed my music on my commute. (80s music in the morning and 70s music in the afternoon.)

And so we began to navigate this new world in which everything was cancelled, it seemed. Far longer than two weeks, my kids would not return to school that year, or even still. They didn’t have any closure, not with teachers, not with friends. My sweet parents began their volunteer isolation. We saw them only from a porch or via FaceTime. Disneyland band trip, cancelled. Outdoor School, cancelled. Hawaii, cancelled. Graduation.

Class of 2020

AP exams and college acceptances during the spring. Deciding which college to attend when you can’t visit the campus is difficult. I was glad we had visited fourteen colleges over the years, but ultimately my son’s decision was between two that he hadn’t formally visited. (One we had been to before for a competition.)

In April I gathered the t shirts I’d saved over six years to make a memory quilt for my son. I decided to outsource this project, and the company required that we cut the t shirts, sending them only the front panel. I spent one lunch hour cutting the sleeves off twenty -four t shirts, and separating the panels. It was only then that I found peace–realizing that I had spent years forming my son’s foundation, literally giving him the pieces, so that he can in turn grow to be the best version of himself.

Memories and Blocks

And so the day came- drive thru graduation. Only one car of the immediate household was allowed. My son wore his cap and gown in the front passenger seat. We entered the campus at the designated entrance and followed rows of homemade signs and printouts of the graduates’ names. At the corner, we gave the staff person our graduate’s name, and he bellowed it over the loudspeaker as we continued the drive with 3 staff members cheering over the loud party music playing. We were instructed to park and exit for a photo op, where the photographer’s assistant actually touched my son’s face and I fumed. What the hell? We took more pics by a banner, and piled back into the car. As we exited the school grounds, I saw grandparents walking and peeking over the fence. Wish I had thought of that. We drove to a nice park with a great view, took more pictures, then went to Sonic drive thru.

Still I insisted to my kids that were were lucky. My husband and I still had jobs and we were healthy. Soon all these refunds started coming in. I started to list them. It’s true what they say about gratitude. The more I listed, the more there was to list. I got refunds from outdoor school, Disneyland band trip, and our Hawaiian vacation. I also scored a free guitar, free guitar strings, and a friend at work restrung them for me. I started calling this my Abundance List.

New Normal

My daughter and I started Project Happiness. We started by drawing designs and messages on the sidewalk with chalk. Then we delivered succulents, sunflower seeds, other fun crafts. Our favorite was Project Read It Forward: we carefully chose books for our recipients, and included bookmarks encouraging them to pass along the books to others.

As we adjusted to this new normal, we found solace in our new routines. My own work schedule was two office days per week, three working from home. I arranged to work from home on the day that my girl has virtually no classes. Then She can work on projects in the kitchen as I work from the dining room, and we call out from our “cubicles.” I started subscribing to crate projects for her: STEM and STEAM. We now have a lenticular lamp, folding lap desk, pin ball machine, ukulele, golf club, dyed yarn baskets and more, decorating our home. Dear Son started and finished watching many tv series, and rebranded his blog. I found that without a commute, I could write for an hour in the morning and read for an hour before bed. And this was much more satisfying than the endless dreary doom of the phone scroll.

Last year I read 38 books, revised 5 drafts of my novel manuscript, wrote a daily digital journal, and wrote four volumes documenting my writer’s journey. I relaunched this blog. I am so grateful to have found a writing community, and a virtual book club.

HomeSchoolOfficeDorm

I wake up early every day, and as I pass my son’s room, I smile. I’m so grateful he is safe at home. How I wished he could enjoy traditional college, but now is not the time. Actually, he’s thriving. He manages his college classes, homework, and all his Zooms with his friends cousins, and grandparents. He is the life of the virtual party. He says he may have become more extraverted.

My daughter’s struggled the most of us. She became more introverted. With everything canceled, her social bubble became the four of us. I suppose she learned that she can’t count on others. I hope she learned that she can count on us. People don’t understand that there’s so little instruction happening right now. Advance seventh grade math meets for 1.5 hours per week. In a normal year, they would have three times that much instruction. But this year affects her high school math trajectory, which affects her college options. I do believe that the next time in-person school begins, everybody will be in the same situation, and teachers will adapt. But I really worry for our children’s mental health development, most of all.

BYO BFF

So I feel like I am my daughter’s only friend. But it’s okay. We do a lot together. She encouraged me to get my own pair of roller skates. I am so glad! Now we look forward to roller skating on weekends. We even have some matching skate outfits. After a year of skating, she can now catch up with me. We added yoga to our routine. Sometimes we even have our own book club. It’s great reading the same books. Of course, I always enjoy our nightly cuddle conversations before bedtime prayers.

Derby Girls

Community

I sure miss really talking to people and hugging. But I’ve found community in other ways. With community there is also responsibility. We talk about inclusivity and diversity. Please follow people unlike you on social media, so you can learn. Support Black businesses and authors. Embrace LGBTQIA+, and practice changing pronouns. (My favorite way to practice this is to sing 80s songs and change all the pronouns to they/them. #sunglassesatnight) Really awaken looking at what it’s like to experience life as an other. Being of indigenous heritage myself- but only half- I am only now starting to understand the significance in my life, and what that’s meant.

Balance

I have always struggled being positive in a less than positive world. I’ve always been the only one that actually goes to church in any Venn diagram of my social circles. Reminding my children the importance of our faith while acknowledging the general suckiness of a pandemic is hard. I’m the only one attending virtual church within my own family. But I have faith that my kids will join me again, when they are ready.

Spring Forward

As this year anniversary approached, I began to perceive that we are no longer in a stasis. Things are changing. Vaccine availability and new leadership. I think that maybe, just maybe, this is a chrysalis. And we will come out better for it.

Butterfly

Monday Music: Rockin’ (from 2005)

Happy Monday, Friends!  Here’s an Oldie but a Goodie- a concert review I wrote in 2005 for The Wiggles. I was inspired to re- share this post after spending the weekend practicing driving with my son.  In some ways, this seems like yesterday. But in some ways, it seems so long ago.  And now I’m the same age as Jeff was then.  That’s wild. Do you remember the Wiggles?

Get Ready to Wiggle
When my friend Suzette from Mommy & Me class said she was going to take her son to see the Wiggles Live, I said, Let’s all go! The Wiggles, Australian for silly, is sure to be a grand ol time. I was delighted when Suzette told me we got 2nd and 3rd row seats. Wuhoo! How lucky are we?

To Stroll or Not To Stroll
Although the A’s-Angels game was no score in the bottom of the 8th, we decided to avoid parking mayhem and take BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit). Dear Son enjoys the rare opportunity to ride sans car seat, and at age 2, he’s free. Forget the stroller, my son is a Big Boy, going to his first rock concert! So, as long as the baseball fans don’t trample the toddlers walking on the bridge from the station to the coliseum, we’re all right.

Lights, Camera, Action! …
Kid’s t-shirts are $ 15 and mini light sabers with the Big Red Car on top are another
$ 15, so I distract my 2 year old with a sippy cup of Passionfruit-Peach-Apple juice (thank you Trader Joe’s) and then we are on our way to our 2nd row seats! Tickets were only sold for the Sideline Club Level, with folding chairs on the court, and the stage set at mid-court. So everybody has a great seat. Our 2nd row is courtside, so we were not tunnel vision-deer in headlights, but we are able to see the entire stage, flanked by 2 video screens, Journey style. (How many of you knew that this method of broadcasting concerts was inspired by Steve Perry and pioneered by Journey in the 80’s?) The show was delayed due to the parking fiasco of the earlier Wiggles matinee and the aforementioned A’s game just ending, our own 5pm Wiggle audience is delayed entrance to the parking lots. Screens come in handy as they show a couple of Wiggle episodes during our delay, which Dear Son so enjoyed. Also, every seat gets a Wiggles fun pack: a coloring book, box of 4 crayons, a poster, and coupons for Mott’s applesauce and juice.

…WIGGLES!
The lights dim, and the toddler audience anticipation is audible. The screens show the Wiggles in the Big Red Car driving to the stadium, including local shots of “Downtown Oakland 980” freeway signs, and the Arena marquee. Dear Son’s eyes are glued to the screen. I have to point out to him that the Wiggles are actually driving the Big Red Car on stage! They perform the entire opening song (Toot Toot Chugga Chugga) from the car, driving all over the stage. The crowd goes wild. (Next year we are bringing a sign “I Heart Big Red Car”). The Wiggles themselves run through the crowd and Jeff, the Purple Wiggle, runs right in front of us. Alas, Dear Son misses this magic Wiggle moment, as he’s still looking at the screen/ stage. The third song is the classic “Rock a Bye Your Bear”, a standard country tune complete with hand motions. Yes, part of the Wiggle magic is the interactive nature of their songs. DS sits on my lap and we do the movements together, as he seems a little overwhelmed. I ask him if he’s okay, check his heartbeat (normal), ask him to do a little dance, he complies with his trademark rapid stepping in place. We’re okay. We begin with the wave (not the sporting game wave, the We Are the World wave) followed by “Everybody Clap, Everybody Sing!” You get the idea. DS has big smiles. He knows the movements to this song. I’m so proud. (Photos follow.)

Not Your Average Rock Concert: Reflections from a seasoned concertgoer
Turns out I didn’t need to smuggle in my camera under the prerequisite feminine products in my purse (a trick I learned at Wham! Day on the Greene 1986). Amateur still photography is allowed at Wiggles events. Wow, does Greg look different in person. The Yellow Wiggle and lead singer sported a new buzz cut and his hair was coming in gray. And he’s younger than I am. Actually prior to this show, I was thinking that Greg Page resembled Morton Harket of a-ha!. Man, can he sing. A confident tenor and a friendly chap besides, his voice ranks with the best of the crooners. (I am going to write to him and suggest that on his next solo album, he record Culture Club’s “Love is Love”, and a-ha!’s “High and Low”.) Other random thoughts: the Wiggles really acknowledge the super signs and gifts offered them, stopping the show for a photo op and displaying the sign & child on the video screens. Somebody gave Anthony a pair of goggles, and he thanked them profusely, saying it would keep the sweat out of his eyes, and wore them the next entire song. I’ve noted on the set list following, which songs who actually played what instrument(s). Yes, as a trained musician, it really does bug me that Murray performs half the show without plugging in his guitar. Hello, Andrew Ridgley? What are we really teaching the kids here? I was delighted when, later in the show, he plugged in and performed a familiar ‘lil ditty: the intro to Stairway to Heaven. Early in the show I notice the fab four taking turns standing stage left behind a podium that may have housed a keyboard. Suspicious. Reminds me of the “Low Effort” spot on the three tiered aerobics shows back in the 80s. I think it was a rest opportunity. Speaking of which, Jeff, the Wiggle most prone to take a nap, exhibits notable energy and storms the audience himself in “Where’s Jeff?” (a la Styx 2003), as well as demonstrates great falsetto talent mimicking the Captain Feathersword’s impromptu operatic Ode to Oakland. And I thought he was always sleeping because he couldn’t quite keep up w the younger wiggles (Jeff Fatt being in his 50s). Go Jeff!

Just Can’t Get Enough
The set list follows in full. I‘ll highlight some special Wiggles Magic moments for y’all now. Most enjoyable were some unrehearsed moments, including Anthony (the Blue Wiggle, and my favorite) messing with Captain Feathersword, and causing the entire skit to be delayed due to stage laughter. Captain’s Magic Buttons is a clever skit showcasing the amazing talents of Paul Paddick, who plays the Captain. Anthony presses buttons on Captain’s jacket, and Captain will make an animal sound. After the cow, etc. Captain does a wild rendition which resembles an extended version of the intro to “Wipe Out”. It’s amazing and long and funny, and so when Anthony, snickering, presses the button again, Captain is not prepared, but attempts to do so again in a flash, only to bust up in laughter. But he does, eventually, make the crazed cookaburra sound again.

At one point Greg and Anthony tell the kids to clap when they hear a food that they like to eat. Audience vote for next song via applause. So, of course, they say “Brussel Sprouts!” and “Broccoli!” before they say “Fruit Salad!” and the crowd goes wiggly wild as the Yummy Yummy intro sounds. Now this is another Wiggle classic worth mentioning, it’s classic euro-techno-pop 80s, a la Depeche Mode. We just can’t get enough. Let me tell you: this tops McCartney in Berkeley leading the crowd in “Hey Jude”.

Friends of the Wiggles
Dorothy the Dinosaur, Wags the Dog and Henry the Octopus were also in attendance, along with the Wiggly Dancers. The animals I don’t get into as much, but my son loves Dorothy and Wags. During “Caveland”, one of my favorites, the Wiggles wear Fred & Barney inspired fur over their wiggles uniforms. The Wiggly Dancers perform in dinosaur costumes. How lucky are they! They get paid to jump on trampolines wearing pterodactyl wings. (Sometimes I think I’ve missed my calling.) The aforementioned Captain Feathersword performs Eagle Rock from a trapeze.

Start Me Up
A classic wiggles song is “Quack Quack.,” complete with animal sounds and dance movements. The toddler audience is in the aisles. Just when I was thinking, hey aren’t there more verses to this song? Anthony explains the magic buttons can make Captain perform this song in any number of styles, including, but not limited to, Mick Jagger! This might be one of those “You had to be there” moments, but a goofy pirate struttin’ like Jagger whilst flapping his arms like a duck: absolutely hysterical. Duck Jagger was followed by Barry Gibb and by Babs, none other than Ms. Streisand.

Near the end of the lineup was Dear Son’s favorite: Hot Potato. This is a simple 12-bar blues complete with call & response, a la Harry Connick Jr. Orchestra. It so works with the toddler age group. Brilliant.

Wiggly Finale
Dear Son and his pal are hungry, so the finale comes at the right time. The Wiggles buckle up, of course, and get in the Big Red Car to perform a short version of Toot Toot Chugga Chugga. Psyche! They jump out of the car and continue to perform hyper ultra short versions strung together a la Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat circa 1990 (That’s disco dance remix style, for the rest of you). And then, multicolored confetti falls from the sky. And my sweet son is too emotionally exhausted to walk back to the BART station, I carry all 35 pounds of him across the walkway and he gives me big hugs all the way home.

Set List
I brought my tiny Hello Kitty pen and paper to take notes during the concert (Thanks, Michelle!) I even noted when Anthony played drum set, when Murray and Greg plugged in their guitars; alas I forgot it at home today, so some may be out of order.

Toot Toot Chugga Chugga
Look Both Ways
Rock a Bye Your Bear
Lights, Camera, Action, Wiggles!
Monkey Dance
Can You Point Your Fingers and Do the Twist
Wiggle Bay
C’est Wags, C’est Bon
We’re Dancing with Wags the Dog
Move Your Arms like Henry
Move Like an Emu
Fruit Salad…Yummy Yummy
Ode to Oakland
Hoop De Doo
Where’s Jeff
Play Your Guitar with Murray (Murray plugs in)
Dorothy Dance Song
Pitter Patter (Dorothy vox)
Caveland
Hot Potato
Eagle Rock
Quack Quack (Greg plugs in)
Quack Quack like Jagger, Bee Gee’s and Babs
Toot Toot Chugga Chugga (reprise)
Wiggly Medley

Monday Music: Inspiration

Happy Monday, Friends!

How are you doing? I’ve missed you.

Music_mama and the Key of Dee are back!

If you are new here, Welcome!

Music is where it all begins for me. Music has been such an integral part of my life. I love listening to a favorite tune, and how it takes me back. I love singing in the car, in the shower, at work. I have a soundtrack for my life, and a playlist for my day. I sing and play piano, as well as percussion and ukulele and guitar. I also compose music, and one of my liturgical pieces was published by GIA Music. You can listen to a professional recording here: https://www.giamusic.com/store/resource/be-still-print-g4902

For Monday Music today, please follow the link to one of my most liked blog posts ever: Inspiration. This is my story about how I came to discover a subtle influence in my lyrics, years after the fact. Enjoy! https://denisederrico.wordpress.com/2014/12/09/inspiration/

Peace,

Denise

Day in the Life of a Winter Guard Mom

7:00 am wake up

7:30 am get up, actually

8:30 am eye doctor appointment

9:30 am Starbucks: order Venti Iced Blonde Latte single shot with Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Foam

-Visit with Starbucks friend 

10:45 am head home

11:00 am pick up daughter 

11:10 am drop off daughter at high school for practice

11:15 am go to Walgreens to purchase special hydro-seal blister band-aids and snacks 

11:20 am Pour Pepsi into latte cup. Enjoy Pepsi Latte! 

-return to Starbucks 

11:30 am continue visiting with friend 

11:45 am complete report (compile 5 emails into one message) Send to committee no.3.

12:00 pm consider following up on minutes for committee no.2,

12:01 pm nah.

12:02 pm consider remaining online courses

12:03 pm naah.

12:04 pm visit with Starbucks friend

12:45 pm drive to high school

12:50 pm text new friends with daughters with possible interest about performance time change

1:00 pm pick up daughter from practice

1:15 pm home- visit with hubby whilst girl showers, clean car 

2:00 pm eat lunch with daughter

2:30 pm head back to school

2:45 pm drop off daughter

3:00 pm enter library, complete online training

3:30 pm leave for school

3:45 pm assemble with winter guard members, awaiting coaches

4:00 pm start driving to competition site

4:45 pm arrive, park, buy ticket, enter performance venue

5:05 pm go to “pavilion” for “dinner” during “break”

5:10 pm be sad that they are out of Lumpia

5:15 pm order Spam Musubi for dear daughter, hot dog with cheese for me 

5:30 pm text other moms arriving about the Lumpia situation, parking, and traffic

5:35 pm check social media, texts, blog. Take selfie. Post. 

Photo by the Author

5:45 pm go back to gym, set up tripod

6:00 pm Go, Guard, Go!

6:03 pm pass out green pom poms 

6:04 pm Performance Time!  Shake pom poms, cheer a lot, beam with pride 

6:10 pm carefully run down steps to help carry “floor” (tarp) out with the girls. Collect the eight lavender costume bows

6:15 pm watch floor folding ritual, observe debrief 

6:20 pm give daughter her “dinner,” run back to watch the rest of performances

-marvel at this amazing inclusive and supportive community

8:30 pm watch award ceremony: cheer loudly when we get 4th out of 8 in our flight.

9:00 pm depart with team members 

9:20 pm return to school

9:44 pm home sweet home

10:00 pm shower

10:25 pm TV time with hubby: finally watch Quantum Leap finale (wow)

11:55 pm bed

Storytelling

Something different for you today! A narrated animation. I created this animated slide, then narrated it. Hope you enjoy it!

Storytelling, a narrated animation, by Denise D’Errico

What do you think?

Monday Blogs: My Love of Music

Listen to an audio version of this post.

Let me tell you about my love of music. You may, or may not know that music has been my field of study. Because of my training and experience in music. I can hear all the colors in a song, observing various aspects. Music is more than just art. Music is a multidisciplinary field: including math, science, language, its own symbols notation system, plus Italian, history, ethnic studies, biology, even P.E.. I bet you didn’t know that a lot of high schools offer P.E. credit for marching bands, because of the physical exertion in the activity.

But at its most basic level: music is a system of patterns and variance. That is, the recognizable and the unusual. Let me tell you about an experience I had listening to a new song recently. A new Jason Mraz song had a bass line reminiscent of a disco song and a melodic call back to another contemporary dance song. This tells me that he is intentionally paying tribute to these artists bringing in a little flavor from the past, but remixing these elements making it his own, celebrating the genre.

The truth is we can’t all be writing the same song over and over.

Variety is the spice of life. That’s what makes things interesting.

There is a time and place for systematic precision, even in music. There is a reason why they call it trombone suicide after all! (If you don’t know what that is, Google it.)

Variance is creativity at its best. The combination of the story of an American founding father paired with rap is unexpected. Similarly the retelling of a Greek myth of gods and goddesses via New Orleans jazz seems unusual, but it works.

I believe my musical training and experience helps me make sense of the world around me. For example, the ability to hear different colors (and identify different aspects) of music helps me interpret meaning, as I described with that Jason Mraz song. But also. I apply the same technique when I hear something in one meeting and something else in another context. I consider their juxtaposition and similarities or contrasts, and what this might mean in business or life. Finally, knowing music structure and forms has helped me get through many a difficult challenge, because I know how a Sonata ends.

Monday Musings: Lessons in Chemistry

I recently read Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus, in one of my book clubs. I highly recommend this book— be warned it contains some troublesome content, showing us the life of a woman in Chemistry during the 1950’s. Equality is not great now, but it certainly was way worse back then.

I am an Amazon Affiliate, therefore if you click on my referral link (above), I may receive the teensiest bit of compensation: pennies actually. This costs you nothing. thank you in advance!

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus, paperback Large Print version

In the detailed view of our main character’s life, I realized just how difficult and unequal women’s lives were.

What I didn’t expect, was that reading this book would become a journey of healing.

Throughout my life, many older women have judged me, misunderstood me, underestimated me, et cetera. I was the youngest person in my graduate program in the 90s, taught by Catholic nuns of the silent generation. This did very much affect me and my outlook/ world view. Thank God my experience wasn’t anything like Elizabeth Zott’s in the book! I did suspect that the nuns shunned me because they couldn’t recruit me.

Reading this book brought me to more of an understanding and empathy for these women, and many of the others. They had it so much tougher when they were young, and it must be hard to see women of younger generations skate through, enjoying opportunity they never had.

I have since done a lot of reading about generations, and the collective perspective of each age group throughout the decades. (See my post about Instabrain.) In my own family, my parents are of the silent generation as well, my sister and I being Generation X.

So after reading the book, I came to a place where I can now forgive the nuns whom I have resented for so long.

The AppleTV series of the same name is worth watching, but beware the story has been altered for this medium. Still, I do recommend watching it. Just as long as you read the book. Because, the book is always better.

Peace,

Denise

Monday Blogs: Planning Ahead for the Holidays and Gift-Giving

Recycling this oldie but a goodie! I’m on my nineteenth year of using my gift-giving historical chart/list/ budget. My niece’s birthday was last week– always the beginning of my refreshed sheet! Original post is below:

I haven’t always liked to plan. I’d been spontaneous all my life, until becoming a mom.  Then I started seeing the value of planning, researching and mapping out. I discovered the crafty stickering planning community. I still love the shiny sparkles of whatever whims, though, and the stickers really help!  (Read more about my planning here.) Yes, organized chaos is a too a thing.

I just dusted off my 12 year historical gift giving spreadsheet, as I do every September.  I review the prior year for completeness, copy and paste a new year, and clear the contents.  I also add any new recipients, and sadly, hide anyone necessary. I don’t actually delete anyone, I just hide the row.  I may need to check what I got beloved Aunt Barbara before she passed away, as it may be a good idea for somebody else in the future. I also study last years budget vs. spend.  If I spent less for somebody, maybe that’s my new budget.  If I spent more on somebody, maybe that’s my new budget!  My niece became a teen this year, so her new budget is now the same as her older brother.  See?

This is a gift-giving list, reference, and budget, all in one. My own family has a ton of birthdays September through January, so I track those here, too. Many times as my own children approached certain ages, I’d scroll back and look at what I got my godson when he turned 12, for instance. Or, where did I get that musical teapot that all two year old girls seem to love?  Scroll back- and I see the store and the price.  Have I already given so-and-so my favorite book?  Scroll back to that year I gave most everybody the same book… oh look, so-and-so wasn’t on my list yet at that time.   See what I mean? Super helpful.

Here is a snapshot of a clean year.  I started on Excel, but I moved it to Google Sheets last year.  (I blacked out my budget so that my dear family members won’t see what I’ve budgeted for them.) But you can see from this template what I’m doing.  Many of my family members have two entries for their two occasions.  So I start shopping in September, and spread my shopping budget over ten paychecks (through January).

Pro-Tip: Enter your spouse and children’s gifts in white font, so they won’t see it on the printout.

Nota Bene: Creative Gifts. Two years ago I made necklaces for my best friends and sweet cousins. So last year I made a different kind of necklace for them.  Earlier this year, my daughter and I made her a memory quilt using her favorite t shirts that she had outgrown.

We made this Memory Quilt together!

As my godson approaches college age, its something I’d consider doing for him.  But I may outsource such a big project.  This may change my budget.  Or, I may bookmark that for his Graduation. I’m learning how to knit, maybe I will knit scarves and give some out as gifts!  Oh hey, I WROTE A BOOK THIS YEAR! maybe I can give somebody on my list a copy of my book.   (Maybe I can afford to outsource that quilt after all.)

I hope you enjoyed learning about my planning tool.  Let me know if you try it this gift-giving season!

How do YOU organize your shopping?

 

 

A Chapbook Review: The Widow at the Piano

The Widow at the Piano Poems by a Distracted Catholic by Sue Fagalde Lick

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

This is a delightfully honest glimpse into a widow’s world, and her wandering thoughts during Mass. I found the poet’s honesty refreshing. As a former church musician, I can relate to so many scenes she described. I, too, have been singing at communion time when somebody fainted (twice). (It was the same parishoner, twice in one summer.) And her writing of the delicate tendrils of grief are beautiful in their sadness. I feel that I have met a kindred spirit and that we are now friends.

Monday Music: I Feel Like Dancing

From the moment the needle dropped- uh, that I pressed play- on Jason Mraz‘s newest single, I heard the bass line and recognized it as the iconic Good Times by Chic/ Rapper’s Delight by Sugar Hill. And even as I started telling my kids about this musical lineage, they excitedly told me they heard remnants another song of their generation: Can’t Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake. I realized this was intentional, and quite clever! The title is even similar to the classic Bee Gee’s hit.

In a world of streaming, sampling, and copyright lawsuits, we sometimes forget that a song can absolutely just sound like another, sometimes it is done with intention in respect. Mariah Carey’s “Emotions” is a nod to “To Be Real” by the Emotions. (Sorry that is the first example that came to me.) Okay, how about this one: Lady Gaga’s Born this Way echoes Madonna’s Express Yourself, even thematically. Can you think of other examples? Leave a comment!

Let us remember that we have just 12 notes in Western music with basically 8 chords. I was all of nine years old when I discovered that the chord progression of Don’t Walk Away from Xanadu by ELO was the same chord progression of Heart & Soul, as was another sing we sang at church. In fact, many church songs sound like other songs. Here I Am, Lord, Is it I, Lord … who was bringing up three very lovely girls?

In “I Feel like Dancing,” the bass line almost sounds like “Under Pressure,” famously ripped and dissed by Vanilla Ice. Raise your hand if you remember that interview. #iamnotacrook If you are going to musically reference another’s song, have some respect. Whatshisname’s BlurredLines, indeed.

It is natural that a composer could accidentally re-compose another song. There’s a great dramatic scene by Kenneth Branagh in which his character suddenly realizes that he has inadvertently rewritten Auld Lang Syne. Sam Smith now shares royalties with the late Tom Petty due to his song’s uncanny resemblance: Stay with Me, I Won’t Back Down.

With “I Feel Like Dancing,” I feel that Mr. Mraz has intentionally blended that bass line on a disco chord progression with echoes of “Can’t Stop the Feelin’,” with a Bee Gee’s song title allusion, shuffled it with a Bruno Mars horn section, and more. What an inspired confluence! Let’s celebrate the timeless call to dance!

[Even as I raise my eyebrow a bit at that one part which reminds me of DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba.]

Monday Music: How I Tricked 100 People into Thinking that I Play the Ukulele

I volunteered to play the ukulele and sing in Chamorro (Guamanian) in front of 100 people at a company event.

I do sing and play piano, among other things. (Whispers) But I don’t really play the ukulele.

I knew that I know enough about music. You know how in TV and in movies, they show someone performing advanced calculations in their mind by showing chalk formulas? This is what happens to me with music.

Einstein, Music Theory
Created by the author with PhotoFunia

Something we learned in liturgical music graduate school was how to speak to others intelligently about their instruments, so as to enhance performance.

So I knew that if I practiced just four chords, I’d be okay. And that’s what I did. I practiced faithfully, fifteen minutes a day, for about a week. Then I got sick for eight days, during which I didn’t practice one lick. In fact, I barely practiced again, until the night before the performance.

But I did it. I performed two short songs (both in the key of D, naturally) and really milked my four chords. Nobia Kahulo’, the one I sang in Chamorro, went off without a hitch. The second piece was so pitchy, I ended it sooner than planned, but funnily enough no one seemed to notice?

Maybe I have just convinced myself that I do, in fact, play the ukulele.

I hadn’t quite fully recognized that until after. That’s the funny thing about recognition. It is re-cognition, or thinking/knowing AGAIN. Have you ever learned something which resonated so much, you felt like you had always known this to be true?

My name is Denise, and I play the ukulele. I can do hard things.

And maybe they are not so difficult, after all.

What else can I do?

Photo by Richard Nishitoyo